How did this "happen"?

2003-08-30 at 5:09 p.m.

I have a test two weeks from today. It covers algebra, geometry, trigonometry, calculus, discrete mathematics, probability, statistics, linear algebra, and some basic computer science. Heh. I can almost feel normal peoples' utter wretched fear when I write that. Or just confusion that I could voluntarily sign myself up for such fun times.

Make no mistake: I do not think this test will be a party. And, in fact, it has been known to keep me awake at about three in the morning. I have been studying for it on and off all summer. After all, these are subjects I have not studied, in some cases, in a decade. And oh, does that make me feel old.

But studying them has been interesting. And eye-opening. I guess I really did learn this crap way back when, because it really is coming back. As soon as I see stuff again--"oh, yeah, an identity matrix!"--it makes sense and slots itself into an available synapse.

Now if they'll only stay where they're put for another fourteen days.

Passing this test is a requirement to the Graduate Teacher Education Program at PSU. I don't get another chance, because I put off taking it for so long.

So, no pressure there.

On top of that, I have my crazy part time job at the PSU bookstore. Not a brain drain, by any sense, but it is back to school, and so it's lots of restocking and manual labor. I'm looking at this job as more of a long term investment. I wish I didn't have it *right now*--but for the next two years, it'll be GOLD. I'm told they'll work with my class schedule, they don't mind if I study on the job once there isn't so much restocking to do, and it's an easy busride from home. I couldn't have asked for more luck. (Although my eight months of unemployment would beg to differ--I'm grateful NOW.)

On top of THAT, I still have work to do for my old company. It's inconsistent--it comes and it goes with hours, but when I get them, they pay, oh, slightly better than the bookstore. I just can't count of them, so I needed to get another job. Now I've got a project for them that I've been unable to work on for a few weeks due to technical difficulties (not on my end!) and I'm feeling guilty so I want to get THAT work done.

And finally, on top of THAT--and work I'm excited to do--is a project I said I'd help with for a friend's dad. He needed someone who spoke French and understood business, so here I am. And it pays three times the bookstore, but half the old company.

I just need forty hours in a day.

I hope this doesn't sound whiny. It's more--amazed. How did this happen?

And how can I get out alive without letting myself down?

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