The art of the not motivated.
2003-08-03 at 10:27 p.m.
Wow. The ride starts next Saturday. I don't know if I'm ready.I was doing all great, and then this "Jupiter thing" came up and I'm just--I feel all drained. Two days of driving around staying in a state of panic and dread really just leave you to an adrenaline crash, I suppose.
Can I just say, I have the best friends and family ever, though? I mean, seriously, the best. I've been thinking about it.
So this weekend, I didn't ride. I'm ashamed to say, I didn't even take my bike out. I totally meant to--the weather has even tamed a LOT, I don't think it got much over 80 degrees this weekend, sweet LORDY JESUS is that better than the heat we've had--but I just couldn't motivate.
The hardest part about motivating, I think, is knowing I'm going to be spending that much time alone in my head. Sometimes all it means is that a Justin Timberlake song gets stuck in my head. Sometimes it means I can solve homework problems. But this weekend, I didn't want to retreat into my head or be forced to commune with myself or in anyway spend more time contemplating. Ye gods have I been doing THAT too much over the past few days. So Andrew and I (and Becca and Nicole and Dan) went to see 28 Days Later... instead which if you want to get out of your head? Yeah, this movie will make you. AWESOME movie. And I did all the laundry and cooking and shopping and cleaning I'd been meaning to do all week that fell by the wayside while I was tending the Becca kitties and the Jupemeister. Little chores, set on autopilot, that take up just enough brain function that I can rebuild, but not too much that I have to find the effort, if that makes sense.
So basically, I've got four days to ride, get the bike broken down and packed, and get out to Chicago. Heh. Leave it to me to wait until the last moment. This ride may break me. Although I'll get to see Ned and Peter and Laura and Kelly and Barb and (hopefully) Katie and Watie and Wee Simon and Roger (Rooooooger!) and maybe even chef Jen and wooo! I'm excited. I hope I don't die, but I'm excited.
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