Girl's just bitch ass crazy.

2004-01-23 at 5:23 p.m.

Scene 1: F., a coworker who's a little like a six-foot puppy dog, gets accosted by a customer. By a customer whose textbook is missing a few chapters if you know what I mean and I think you do. Apparently the conversation goes something like this:

"Oh, so you work at the Smith Center and now here? What, are you just everywhere?"

"You must be mistaking me for my sister. People do it all the time. I'm not sure why, I don't think we look alike but--"

"You're not going to get away with this!"

"--people say we... what?"

"Where are you from?"

(Note: F. is Palestinian, with somewhat Middle Eastern looking features, but she could also be Latina or Native American or Indian--you can't tell by looking at her for sure.)

"Where am I from?"

"Yeah, where are you from?"

"Are you sure you're not confusing me with my sister?"

"So now you're making up some sort of 'sister'?"

"Um... I... uh... I'm really uncomfortable. Why are you interrogating me?"

"I don't have to put up with these questions! You better just watch out for me!"

"What? Are you... is that... are you threatening me?"

"You know I am!"

And at that, Bitch Ass Crazy whirled around and left.

F., and a fellow coworker S., immediately paged a manager, instantly flooding the department with ten managers. By the time the head manager got upstairs, BAC was gone.

Scene 2: About an hour later.

BAC comes back in the store. D., a woman who works in receiving, which is located near the scene of the crime and witnessed part of it, happened to be on the main floor and see BAC come in. D. turns to a cashier and says, "I think you need to page a manager," and then hauled ass downstairs. "F.," she said. "Take a break. Now."

F. hightails it around the corner into the back rooms just as Bitch Ass Crazy comes down the stairs, looking for trouble, on the hunt.

Nothing exciting happens, because F. is off the floor. Nothing happens also because the head manager has a chat with this woman, and doesn't address the "Don't Fucking Threaten My Employees" elephant in the living room. "She was perfectly nice to me," he later says.

Scene 3:

Bitch Ass Crazy is back again. This is about two hours later. By now every employee in the store has heard about Ms. BA Crazy and word spreads like wildfire that she's back in the store. Everyone suddenly finds a reason to be near the text book desk.

There is one customer in the text book department, and thirty employees lingering at a ten foot radius.

The index card aisle is straightened, re-straightened, re-organized and straightened again.

Ms. Crazy's head does not spin 360 degrees on her shoulders, and she does not projectile vomit.

She goes upstairs and employees drift off into little knots of "Why Hasn't She Been Banned yet?" and "How Many Threats Does It Take?"

Meantime, she's upstairs and starts yelling at a cashier because he won't let her see another customer's receipt. He calmly calls the head manager. Who stands there and does. Abso. Fucking. Lutely. Nothing.

(I, of course, found some teddy bears that needed to be put out right then, coincidentally right by the cashier's stand.)

I overhear this patch of conversation:

Head Manager: "Is everything all right?"

Bitch Ass Crazy: "it's called marriage. You wouldn't understand."

He was baffled by this response.

Um, but Mr. Manager?

Who the fuck cares why she's Bitch Ass Crazy???? It is just enough that she is. I mean, I'm all for healing the world and compassionate care and all that? But, uh, with the first threat? Against your employees? Uh... don't you tell them, "If you come on this property again it will be considered trespassing"????

Isn't that part of your goddamn job????

So then.

Scene 4: a bus stop just outside the store.

Apparently, BACrazy noticed D., the woman who'd told F (the puppy) to get off the floor when BAC had come in the second time. BAC runs up to D, shouting, "You work at that bookstore don't you?" and apparently shouting threats.

D. came running into the store. "Where's [useless head manager]?"

She told him what had happened.

He finally calls campus security.

Now, let me say something.

I like working here. I like (almost all) of my coworkers, and what all. But this shit ain't worth getting hurt by a crazy motherfucker. If something happened? I'd sue the pants off of that useless head manager. He had three separate opportunities just today to ban her from the store, and he didn't. And apparently there have been other incidents with her. And I understand that being a store downtown in a city that attracts all types in a state that doesn't fund mental health the way it should means you might see a crazy or two. In fact, there's a little elfin girl who comes in, talks and giggles to herself, occasionally takes naps in the art aisle, buys a ton of shit and then returns it the next day. No problem. We adjust, make room, move on.

But threats are where you have to draw the line. There's too much violence without warning in this world--we have to take warnings seriously.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAPPEN ONE AFTER THE FUCKING OTHER.

How do I know my coworker is safe? How do I know Bitch Ass Crazy won't turn on me next, thinking I'm F.? Or just because she decided I was the one who put the space aliens in her head?

This is not right in so many fucking crazy ass ways.

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