Maid of Data here
2004-09-25 at 11:40 a.m.
So, my dear dear friend Leah got a beautiful surprise when her adorable significant other popped a particular question around her birthday this year. Aaron is really the super best.But of course, as soon as she gets engaged, everyone's all, "Who's going to be your maid of honor?" "When will it be?" "Who's gong to be your maid of honor? "What will you wear?" "Who's going to be THE MAID OF HONOR and will it be me huh huh huh huh????"
Weddings, apparently, make everyone crazy, not just the bride.
We were emailing back and forth, and I got to offer her The Generic Fuck Off Phrases of the Newly Engaged:
"Oh, I'm just enjoying being engaged right now, I'll decide on all that later."
"We're just getting used to the idea of being engaged, we haven't had time for all these little decisions."
"As soon as we decide, you'll be the very next to know!"
Leah hit a stumbling block, though, when it came to the Maid of Honor position. I am perhaps a bad person to ask, because I'm not entirely sure what specifically the MoH is supposed to be doing, and the wonderful women who helped me out were super mellow about who was what. I did share my thoughts with her, though, and in the process, came up with an idea I'm really bitter it took me four years to come up with.
First off, I recommended that if one person TOTALLY CARES about who the MoH is but the other two don't? Just give it to her, and don't sweat it, because seriously? NOT a big deal.
If they all care and you're worried about giving it to someone, and want to have one and it's stressing you out about pissing off the other two? Give it to the sister. Blood trumps friendship if push comes to shove as an excuse for why one is your MoH and not the other two. "Oh, Tiffani, I totally would have made you my MoH, but she's my sister, y'know?"
But finally, here's the idea I totally wish I'd come up with before November 2001:
If you have to have a Maid of Honor, but you're divvying up the duties (such as they are) and you aren't wedded (as it were) to tradition, make one of your friends a Maid of Honor. Make one the Maid of Strength, and one the Maid of Spirit, and one the Maid of, oh, I don't know, Cunning or something. It's like your own Amazonian protection cohort. Or samurai squad.
Weddings are weird with their "You Have To"'s. Might as well enjoy them, right?
Damn, I totally wish I'd thought of it.
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