It's either the end of the tunnel or a train. But it's a train with a paycheck, so either way...

2004-11-29 at 9:06 p.m.

I'm a teacher I'm a teacher I'm a teacher!!!!!

Cost of a PSU transcript: $14
Cost of an Oregon license: $90
Cost of expedited process: $100
Value of being able to be a teacher: priceless.

Today I went into the HR office of the school district to start the whole process.

Short digression: I have to say, I've never been in a smaller room with more dried flowers and pot pourri. Maybe she gets lots of really smelly people in the room? Or she has intestinal issues that she needs to cover? Perhaps--no sense of smell? I can't imagine why anyone would need that much fake smelly dried flower arrangements. Over every window or door was a sheaf of dried wheat tied with a dusty rose ribbon accented with a wooden heart. Is this the appropriate way to celebrate egresses? I counted six twig wreaths, four vases with pink and purple dried shit, and countless I'll-just-stick-that-here arrangements in a six-by-six foot room.

She also collected those porcelain wee high heels. Apparently she has no need of them thar bookcases, because every shelf had a scattering of three-inch porcelain heels, a wooden carved bunny/mouse/duck-in-a-bonnet sporting some hand lettered sign ("When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!"), and a bowl of FRAGRANT ROSE PETALS. When Kraft Faires Go Bad.

Ahem. She gave me a job and is a very nice woman.

Then I was off to PSU which--PSU? I'm real grateful for this here edumocation and all, but y'all know SQUAT about how I go about filing for a license. If you don't know, you don't know, and should say so (although you really should, and so it IS shameworthy to not know) but don't go all, "You have to submit two official transcripts from every institution you've ever gone to to us, and you have to get So-And-So's signature on the C2 form, and you need C1 and C3 and a signed affidavit, and hee hee! So-And-So's not in until Wednesday!" when I need to get this shiznit done, like, YESTERDAY. I know, I know, my emergency's not yours, but there IS a procedure in place to get my licensure, and since ME getting licensed just makes YOU look better, you think you'd know a LITTLE BIT MORE about what needs to get done!

As it turns out, I didn't need to submit FUCK ALL to you guys, and I didn't need So-And-So's signature either, by the way, you dumb fucks. I drove my own sorry ass down to Salem and got it all done without you. So sniff that ass crack.

(What makes it more frustrating is that I'm the SECOND person this month to do the SAME THING. So you'd think someone would know the process by now!)

For anyone else who's getting temporary restricted licensure in the state of Oregon, here's what you need:

1. The C1 form, which is just basically the checkboxes about what license you want.
   
2. Transcripts--official ones--from every institution you've ever gone to. Including any partially finished work at whatever institution you're going to now.
   
3. The affadavit showing you've done the civil rights education required for Oregon licensure. (Or just proof in your transcript that you took a class that qualifies...)
   
4. Either official fingerprints or proof you already have your fingerprints on file at the Teachers Standards and Protocols Commission (which makes it sound like they're controlling Teacher Etiquette).
   
5. A letter from the school district that's hiring you.
   
6. A resume.
   

Notice how much of that PSU had anything to do with? The transcript. Which I got for $14 from the registrar and it took fifteen minutes. As opposed to the forty-five minutes of grab-ass in the PSU Graduate Teacher Education Program department and nothing to show for it. Seriously, you go into the administration office of their School of Education at 10:00 a.m. on a Monday, you'd think to find SOMEONE who could find their ass with a map and a flashlight, wouldn't you? Yeah, I dream big.

Then I was off to Salem.

All this before lunch, mind you. I'm a very tired girl today. Nothing, I suppose, on what the next three weeks will hold, but tired tired tired.

And I got the nicest card from the people who share the office I'll be working out of. I think we're going to be having a Christmas Theme Sweater contest. I just picked up a cardigan at Goodwill for $4.99. It has gold beads and a three-dimensional snowman with a scarf. And teddy bears and Santa and a tree and a train.

What a weird November it's been. Start of November, there's this minor election thingy. The day after, I get offered the chance to apply for this job (right after finishing my work sample and breaking up a fight). Today, the second-to-last day of November, I submit all my paperwork to begin the job. ON MONDAY.

So hmmm. I guess my psychic powers sure are getting rusty. I never saw THIS coming...

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