I fart in her general direction.

2005-02-11 at 10:51 p.m.

My greeting upon entering our communal offices this morning: "Oh, Kari! I was wondering why it was so quiet in here!"

When I brought in the Black History Month Meal* to the offices: "How much did it cost?" "Oh, $2.85, y'know, the usual price for the caf lunch." "I might have known you'd say something like oh, the usual."

This woman has her free period when I do, so she sits at her desk snorting through her clearly cement-clogged nasal passages Every. Forty. Seconds.

And making remarks.

"You're always inviting kids in here."

"Is that your coffee that's stinking up the refrigerator?"

"I can't believe teachers that have TA's (kids who earn a quarter credit working for a teacher for a term, usually doing things like running errands, making copies, updating records, whatnot--I just got a couple, and sweet jesus does it help.). But then, no kids want to be my TA. Of course, kids don't think I'm a softy like they do you."

"I just wish I had your naivete and enthusiasm, but I guess having all this experience just makes me more efficient."

Guess what she teaches? No, seriously. Guess.

Speech. This woman, to whom the remark, "what do you mean by that?" will have no effect because she clearly doesn't hear the words coming out of her own mouth, or does and doesn't give a fuck, teaches speech.

And her desk is RIGHT NEXT TO MINE.

I have never had so many insult-compliments in my life.




The Black History Month meal, by the way, is our almost-entirely-white school's nod to the US's cultural heritage. I was actually impressed: it was a Senegalese-inspired chicken dish, with an Ethiopian yogurt-cheesy dish and some red beans and rice, and a supposedly Malien inspired soupy concoction. The reason I'm so impressed is that the announced Black History Month lunch was--no, seriously, I shit you not--yes, it's as bad as you're imagining right now--fried chicken. Pork ribs. Sweet potato pudding. Cornbread. And yes. Watermelon. Dear sweet lord in heaven, does no one realize the problem with marking Black History Month with, of all things, watermelon????? As Andrew asked, "Are they also going to have a mock lynching of the four black students at lunch time?" "No," I replied, "but the show choir is going to perform in black face."

Of course, this is also a school that has a Dress Like White Trash day. And a Slave Day, where to raise money for the Senior class, they "buy" each other's services for a day. Somehow, it's always the girls who are "sold".

Parts of this school horrify me.

Watermelon!

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