Peanut.

2005-03-27 at 8:04 p.m.

Dan and Emily wanted an Adult Evening, and I was on spring break, so I offered the services of Andrew and me (myself? I?)--offered my services--and they were so grateful.

I tried to tell them that goodNESS, it's mostly selfish desire! but they kept saying Thank You.

The Peanut is quite possibly the cutest sweetest baby I have ever had the privelege to hold and cuddle and tickle. I've been working on hearing the giggle, but so far I get toothless grins. They're pretty satisfying, though.

When I go to visit Emily, I try really hard to make sure I'm there to visit her--her as a beautiful, intelligent, funny, strong friend--but it's always so tempting to just bask in the company of the Peanut. Babysitting? Perfect way to get my Peanut Fix without ever dissing Emily. You see how this is perfect? I get credit for being a selfless generous friend AND get to have the Peanut all to myself!!!

As it turned out, Andrew felt a wee bit sick and so decided to opt out of the babysitting extravaganza. I was a little sad, because seeing him make goo-goo faces at the baby is almost as heart-meltingly delicious has making the goo-goo faces myself. However--Peanut! All to myself!!!! Let there be Joy!

The Peanut has a little bouncer thingy--it's suspended from a frame by springy-bouncy things, and I've never seen such unfettered glee on a six-month-old in my life. You put him in the little seat, and the dude just takes off! Boingy-boingy-boingy-boingy-BOINGY-BOINGY-BOINGY-BOINGY! He'll pause as if verifying that, yes, this is still WICKED FUN! and then he's off again! His arms flapping out from his sides and an almost centered zen-like concentration on the boingy-boingy-boingy-BOINGY-BOINGY-BOING! Pause. Chipmunk-cheek-splitting-grin. And then he's off again!

It reminds me of an afternoon in Minnesota, where I was walking through the town of my college. Out on the lawn were three toddlers who were entertaining themselves by jumping. That's it. Just jumping. They'd jump ooo-as-high-as-they-can! and then they'd inevitably fall and giggle and DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. How magical is that? Where something as simple, silly, singular as jumping, could entertain forever (or at least for an hour or two).

The spell of watching the Peanut figure out that he can jump, or hold things or roll over has to be among the most magical things in the world.

I love Emily and Dan, and really feel confident that they have been inducted--slyly, almost without my noticing--into the Friends For Life pantheon. But the Peanut? I want to be part of his life too, and the almost-panic I feel when I think about not hearing him speak his first words, not seeing him read, not watching him tie his shoe, threatens to drown me from time to time.

It's the kind of panic that can only be solved by watching his concentration on the simple, silly, singular joy of bouncing.

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