Why do you want to be a math teacher?

2004-04-10 at 1:36 p.m.

Easily the hardest question to answer without sounding like a fruitcake. Because I like it? Because I believe more people are better at math than they are willing to believe? Because it's one of the easiest subjects to get a job in?

Also the first question than high schoolers ask when I'm introduced to them as a student teacher. So I've had lots of practice.

J., in the fourth period Algebra II class--the last class before lunch--went further.

"So what kind of music do you listen to?"

Another question I hate, mostly because I really don't have a good answer for it. I listen to whatever someone else puts on, but other than that, I don't really buy music. I like Outkast, I like Miles Davis, I liked Liz Phair before she went all poppy (and even then, if someone put her on I'd listen).

"What do you do in your free time?"

"Well, J., I have another job, so that takes up some time, and I have a husband and a dog, so those take up some of my time..." and I watch movies and TV, I read a ton, I have been planting lots of things in my wee little yard, and that and my friends and family take up pretty much all of my time.

"Where do you live?"

"Um, why? Because it's starting to sound a little creepy."

"What did you do before wanting to be a teacher?"

"I worked, some in computers, some in banking."

"Are you Jewish?"

EXCUSE ME?

"That's what my teacher said! Because of the bible and stuff, Jews could make loans and thats how banking started!"

"Uh, J., that was like the Middle Ages and even then it's more story than truth. That question is extremely offensive!"

"I didn't mean it to be!"

"Well, be that as it may, it was. So now you know."

Short? Maybe. But I have to say, I was shocked. What sixteen year old thinks that's an okay question?

So then his friends in class congregate in the corner to begin their in-class assignment.

"Nice Hawaiian punch, V! What's that for?" J asks quietly.

V grins. "Well, it's for that stuff that I meant to add but forgot."

J laughs.

"So where's that bottle, you know, that sport bottle, of the uh, you know?" V asks.

I roll my eyes. I am standing three feet from them and this is the best code they can come up with?

After class I approach my cooperating teacher and recount the two conversations for him. His eyes widen at the Jewish comment, and he starts chuckling at the Hawaiian punch conversation.

"I just thought you should know, if they start bringing in nalgene bottles of fruity-colored liquid."

"It'll be my privelege to sniff any drinks they bring in, " he grins.

I'm working at a fairly rich high school, where all the girls are skinny and have straight straight hair and drive Jeep Wranglers, and the boys all carry cell phones that play Eminem when they get a call. Reminds me strongly of both of my high schools, only richer. So it's not like I don't know what's going on. I'm sure these kids drink on the weekends, or when their folks are out of town, or whenever they can convince someone to accept their very fake ID.

And while, admittedly, I was a very very very good and wholesome child while I was in high school and would have been shocked, shocked if someone had suggested getting drunk at high school (or at all, really), I still think it's a stupid stupid plan. And if you're going to be dumb enough to plan this shit in front of me as if I were dumb as a post and deaf to boot? Puh. Leeze.

(Not to mention I am probably obligated to address this behavior when discovered. Like, if I ever want a job teaching for real, I'd better not let this shit go, y'know?)

But the worst part of it is this: three years ago, at this very same school, a girl nearly died in one of the bathrooms of alcohol poisoning. it's only because a friend got the vice principal, and the VP knew CPR, that she didn't. Her heart had stopped beating. And just last week the same thing happened to another boy in the state. I'm sure they weren't the only ones who've tried the drinking-in-high-school,-damn-I'm-a-rebel plan--a friend of my sister's tried the same scenario, and got caught puking her guts out in the girls bathroom, hee--but I wouldn't ever show up to work drunk. Or drinking. What are you rebelling against that this plan seems a good idea?

So anyway, my first two weeks as a high school teacher.

So why do I want to be a math teacher?

Because I can be. And I'll be a damn good one.

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