Tilting Axis.
2004-04-22 at 3:48 p.m.
We had just spent an hour exploring what would the earth would have looked like if, instead of it's 23.5 degree axis tilt, the earth had instead had a 90 degree tilt, rotating like a pig on a barbeque spit. How long would the days be? What would the seasons be like? What kind of life would have evolved?(See? The fun never stops round these parts!)
So the professor begins summing up the class in his easygoing manner.
"We've been over how students can show how they know something, through situations other than tests. "
He pauses and looks around at us, the attentive teachers-to-be.
"We've talked about algebra and variables and common misconceptions."
We nod appreciatively.
He looks at Stephen, the acknowledged expert in the room about the solar system.
"We've talked about the Earth."
We look at each other and nod. Yes, we talked about the Earth. We sure did.
He looks at me.
"We've talked about Uranus."
Heh. I nod seriously, thinking, "Hee. If I were a middle schooler, I'd be all Beevis and Buttheady right now, 'Heh heh. heh. He said my anus!"
Just then, I glance over at Russell, who has just done a spit-take courtesy of his Nalgene bottle, wide-eyed and laughing, and my own world suddenly tilts.
I begin convulsing, trying desperately to maintain the teacher-to-be decorum, ignoring the flash-frozen image etched behind my eyelids of Russell looking shocked at how funny he found our professor mildly commenting that we've talked about my anus.
I winch my eyelids shut, clap my hand over my mouth, and hold my breath, desperately trying to keep the Church Giggles locked in my abdomen. I lower my elbows to my knees and bow my shaking shoulders inward as if by curling into a teeny tiny ball, I can contain something uncontrollable.
I vaguely hear as Solar System Stephen and Geo Alyssa, to my left, curse my name as the Church Giggles radiate through the classroom. I'm not sure, though, because I'm too busy wiping the tears from my eyes and trying to keep from snotting out my nose.
Just when I think I've got the beast under control, my mind's eye flashes to Russell choking on his water, and I'm off again. Or I hear Geo Alyssa snort. Or Solar System Stephen clear his throat. My abs start aching, my eyeliner is now streaking down the outside of my eyes, and I desperately need to pee, but I can't contain it.
The prof gamely continues on, calmly and meditatively musing on the difficulties of making sure our students really know what we're teaching and aren't just passing tests and writing papers and parroting back to us what we want to hear, but I can't even hear beyond the ebb and flow of his words because. We. Looked. At. My anus. Russell. Spit take.
And I'm off again.
The good times never end here in Math and Science Study Methods class.