How to Dress for High School.

2004-05-04 at 6:43 p.m.

For boys: Hats. Trucker hats, sports hats, whatever. No more of this worn-in look. No no. The front part has to be straight up and down. And definitely, never never wear the hat straight-on. Skew it to one side or the other. And if you can match it to the sporty slightly sarcastic but perhaps kitchsy retro-style t-shirt you casually wear under your Diesel shirt? So much the better.

Also for boys: AC/DC is still not out of style.

For girls: Skirts. Let's talk itty bitty frilly skirts. And when I say itty bitty? Low rise, short fall. You should definitely not be able to touch the skirt with your hands if your hang your arms at the sides. If you can, your skirt is too long.

Also for girls: You're never too young to wear kitten-heel mules with rhinestones.

And while we're on the subject of shoes: it's never too cold for flip flops. You're never too over-dressed or under-dressed for flip flops.

For everyone: that turned-up collar look is so new, don't you think? Seriously, a nice pastel-shade polo t-shirt with the collar up and grazing the back of your neck just screams twenty-first century.

Back to the boys: If it don't say Joe Boxer (or it does and your pants aren't low enough to read it) it don't matter.

Back to the girls: If you don't show eight full inches of back when you sit down (and maybe even an inch or two of ass) it don't matter either.

For everyone again: If none of these rules suit you, there's still Punk. There's always Punk. And the Punk never changes. If you've got the hair dye, the makeup, the studded [insert name here], funky tights and wild shoes, you'll do just fine.

Thank god for the Punk.

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