Meet Seth, Douchebag.

2004-10-18 at 7:18 p.m.

Rumor has it, every teacher has a student Like That. A newish teacher I really admire was recently accused by her personal Student Like That of hitting the student (the student told her parents, who told the principal, the vice principal, the school board, and the new superintendant, and as it turns out, this school has closed-circuit television in all the halls and classrooms and funny, there seems to be no hitting so it appears the teacher will be exonerated but not without a sleepless weekend). So in retrospect, my Student Like That is really small potatoes.

But still.

Let me call him Seth, with apologies to all the sweet Seths in the world (LIKE SETH COHEN, MAYBE!!!), but he reminds me of a Seth I went to high school with. He could very well be smart, but he's so unable to socialize that I know I should empathize and help him but seriously? For every button I have, HE PUSHES IT.

I think he's pretty smart, but I really can't tell anymore. When he gets something wrong--and in math, that happens, folks, seriously, I make mistakes every day--but when he gets something wrong and I say, okay, well, then, prove it, he rolls his eyes at me and says, "I know it's right." Well, that's not good enough for me. Prove it.

But from there, it inevitably, inexorably goes downward. Maybe it's the eyerolling. Maybe it's the patronizing tone of voice he uses when he's wrong wrong wrong!!!! In fact, mostly I think it's the patronizing tone.

This morning he came in for some extra help (on explicit and recursive formulas, for any geeks who may be reading). We worked out a couple formulae, and time ran out and I had to teach my class (for my observer, by the way, and I ROCKED and got GREAT REVIEWS, just for those keeping score at home). But when he reappeared for his class fifth period, and volunteered some of those answers and they were wrong (like I said, hey, it happens!) he shouted, "But she told me so!"

(a) No I didn't.
(b) Even if I did, you read them as if they were right.
(c) No, I really didn't. You came up with them, and I told you they were wrong.

He read another one out loud to the class--that he came up with, and that was right when he came up with it, and was right when he wrote it down, but he read it wrong.

"It's not wrong!"

Well, what you just said was. What you have written down--which you're telling me you're reading but what is coming out of your mouth is NOT what is written down on your paper--what you have written down is correct.

"But you TOLD me that answer!" (meaning the one he was verbalizing).

Um, no, and no, and NO. What's worst was that he had the right answer written down, so I have no idea what the crack he was smoking was.

But then he goes and shouts at me in front of the class.

So finally, I said, "Seth. Enough. We're moving on, let's talk about this later."

And I went by his seat later and said, "Seth, I was really upset with how you talked to me today. If you are going to talk to me that way, I won't be able to help you with your homework when you come in for extra help. I just want to let you know that."

ARG. I know it wasn't the best way to help Seth become less of a douchebag, but seriously. His douchebaggery is driving me up the wall.

Tomorrow I'll go in and find him and talk to him. Try to get at what's going on. Try desperately not to kill him.

Douchebag.

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